A clear mind combined with a lot of free time can do a lot to a man. It can do so much to complicate things, clarify everything, or send him running. He doesn't know where he's running, but he's willing to do anything as long as he doesn't have to deal with what he had prior. Trading the known for the unknown can be as justifiable as continuing forward with what that person had always possessed and cherished.
To know that you love something so dearly that you're not willing to give it up for fear of never finding something similar again is... realistic, although rare. Reward cannot be guaranteed to those who venture into the unknown, but it is the thrill of the chase that makes the chase rewarding; we're always able to gain something from stepping into the abyss. The ride, the trials and triumphs, the losses always mean more than the wins, the pain always strikes deeper than the joy, and that's a trade that those people are willing to make in order to grow and learn more about themselves.
We can't foresee how we would act in a situation until the real scenario arises. For example, I've always said that I would be the guy to attack the robber at the bank in order to save the others. But to say and to do are completely different realms of reality, maybe deep down I'm a flyer not a fighter but until the situation arises I'm stuck wondering. I was talking to a wise young woman not too long ago about "talkers" and "walkers" and she described to me the thrill that "talkers" get from explaining how they would act if the scenario presented itself. When a "talker" falls into their story telling euphoria they get feelings of accomplishment while explaining the details as to "how it would go down", as if they were actually succeeding in reality.
I compared this to the instant gratification we undergo while playing video games. Every 10 seconds or so the game will present the player with visual effects or intangible rewards to make them feel like they really just succeeded in their own lives, while in reality they were only twisting their thumbs around vigorously combined with some form of button mashing during that minuscule work period. So when you place that person in front of a pile of wood waiting to be chopped; after 5 minutes of hacking and 3 split logs later they haven't been patted on the back or received any type of unrealistic gratification. Frustration follows and short term happiness is sought once more. That person would rather have an artificial feeling of well being rather than a pure wrestling match on the fine line of success and failure striving to learn something about themselves that they didn't know before.
More or less, I'm looking to describe the chances we can take as humans to help learn more about life in the small amount of time that we have here. I feel that we need to apply ourselves to so many different scenarios and really force ourselves to do things that maybe we don't truly desire but to recall the memories of when we did step into the unknown. Hold onto those memories of when you left love behind, when you tried something you had never done before and surprised yourself with the joy it brought to your life, or a mistake that you made but after it was finished you wouldn't change it because the knowledge you gained was more valuable than the pain you endured.
Whenever I catch myself desiring something, I try, to embrace the process. Striving to recall why I want that so dearly, what am I willing to experience in order to earn that desire? What trades am I willing to make in order to achieve what I do not know as fact? All I can do is sacrifice the present in order to help shape the future that only I can see. Even if I am not "successful" in achieving what I first desired, my triumph will be genuine as I will have undergone struggle, pain, loss, and humility. That's the trade. To keep what we feel is secure and content or to give up everything for the unknown and the small possibility that maybe, just maybe we can be better than our former selves.
But when does the hunger to shape and mold ourselves into better and wiser humans subside you may ask? When the love overrides the desire. When that individual has a deep feeling of understanding, contentment, and happiness. Some find it at different times; some search their whole lives, some stop searching early, some never begin. To never begin is to never finish. There's no error in that, just blindness.
Currently in my own life, I'm doing just that, searching. I keep forcing myself to go through situations that may not seem ideal because I know that while I may wrestle with my feelings, my doubts, my prior decisions, and my life as a whole, I will come out stronger than ever before. I push those around me to the point that they hate me, I'm not afraid to fail, I'm not afraid to lose everything I've ever had. The reason for that is because my desire to endure and overcome is worth more to me than the love that I've found so far. I'm still searching, I'm still growing, I'm still evolving into the person that only I can see.
I only truly know a few things from my short journey thus far: I want to be the best I can be, I want to make those around me better, I want to help make the world a better place, and you can learn something about yourself from every single person you have ever met. Whether that person helped or hurt you, they casted you into scenarios that forced you to learn more about yourself. So when things seem unbearable, reminisce on similar times and how much stronger you were after you got through it. When overcoming things we've never experienced before, we master our fears and teach ourselves how strong our will can really be. After you make a habit of defeating your former self, the world is in the palm of your hand and nobody can take that away.
When that understanding becomes clear, there's a quote that some people may be familiar with...
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
-Marianne Williamson
When we strive to find ourselves, we help others to shine as well. Currently, at this point in my life my medium for helping others is American football. I will continue to do things the right way every second of every day in order to help my team find the light, as we go hand in hand. Some hate me for it, others embrace it, some are confused by it. But what some don't understand is that really I'm still looking for myself and I haven't found him yet. But when I do, I will have found self virtue and all the struggles, doubts, and decisions I have made during my life will be worth the end result. That is why I endure.
To know that you love something so dearly that you're not willing to give it up for fear of never finding something similar again is... realistic, although rare. Reward cannot be guaranteed to those who venture into the unknown, but it is the thrill of the chase that makes the chase rewarding; we're always able to gain something from stepping into the abyss. The ride, the trials and triumphs, the losses always mean more than the wins, the pain always strikes deeper than the joy, and that's a trade that those people are willing to make in order to grow and learn more about themselves.
We can't foresee how we would act in a situation until the real scenario arises. For example, I've always said that I would be the guy to attack the robber at the bank in order to save the others. But to say and to do are completely different realms of reality, maybe deep down I'm a flyer not a fighter but until the situation arises I'm stuck wondering. I was talking to a wise young woman not too long ago about "talkers" and "walkers" and she described to me the thrill that "talkers" get from explaining how they would act if the scenario presented itself. When a "talker" falls into their story telling euphoria they get feelings of accomplishment while explaining the details as to "how it would go down", as if they were actually succeeding in reality.
I compared this to the instant gratification we undergo while playing video games. Every 10 seconds or so the game will present the player with visual effects or intangible rewards to make them feel like they really just succeeded in their own lives, while in reality they were only twisting their thumbs around vigorously combined with some form of button mashing during that minuscule work period. So when you place that person in front of a pile of wood waiting to be chopped; after 5 minutes of hacking and 3 split logs later they haven't been patted on the back or received any type of unrealistic gratification. Frustration follows and short term happiness is sought once more. That person would rather have an artificial feeling of well being rather than a pure wrestling match on the fine line of success and failure striving to learn something about themselves that they didn't know before.
More or less, I'm looking to describe the chances we can take as humans to help learn more about life in the small amount of time that we have here. I feel that we need to apply ourselves to so many different scenarios and really force ourselves to do things that maybe we don't truly desire but to recall the memories of when we did step into the unknown. Hold onto those memories of when you left love behind, when you tried something you had never done before and surprised yourself with the joy it brought to your life, or a mistake that you made but after it was finished you wouldn't change it because the knowledge you gained was more valuable than the pain you endured.
Whenever I catch myself desiring something, I try, to embrace the process. Striving to recall why I want that so dearly, what am I willing to experience in order to earn that desire? What trades am I willing to make in order to achieve what I do not know as fact? All I can do is sacrifice the present in order to help shape the future that only I can see. Even if I am not "successful" in achieving what I first desired, my triumph will be genuine as I will have undergone struggle, pain, loss, and humility. That's the trade. To keep what we feel is secure and content or to give up everything for the unknown and the small possibility that maybe, just maybe we can be better than our former selves.
But when does the hunger to shape and mold ourselves into better and wiser humans subside you may ask? When the love overrides the desire. When that individual has a deep feeling of understanding, contentment, and happiness. Some find it at different times; some search their whole lives, some stop searching early, some never begin. To never begin is to never finish. There's no error in that, just blindness.
Currently in my own life, I'm doing just that, searching. I keep forcing myself to go through situations that may not seem ideal because I know that while I may wrestle with my feelings, my doubts, my prior decisions, and my life as a whole, I will come out stronger than ever before. I push those around me to the point that they hate me, I'm not afraid to fail, I'm not afraid to lose everything I've ever had. The reason for that is because my desire to endure and overcome is worth more to me than the love that I've found so far. I'm still searching, I'm still growing, I'm still evolving into the person that only I can see.
I only truly know a few things from my short journey thus far: I want to be the best I can be, I want to make those around me better, I want to help make the world a better place, and you can learn something about yourself from every single person you have ever met. Whether that person helped or hurt you, they casted you into scenarios that forced you to learn more about yourself. So when things seem unbearable, reminisce on similar times and how much stronger you were after you got through it. When overcoming things we've never experienced before, we master our fears and teach ourselves how strong our will can really be. After you make a habit of defeating your former self, the world is in the palm of your hand and nobody can take that away.
When that understanding becomes clear, there's a quote that some people may be familiar with...
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
-Marianne Williamson
When we strive to find ourselves, we help others to shine as well. Currently, at this point in my life my medium for helping others is American football. I will continue to do things the right way every second of every day in order to help my team find the light, as we go hand in hand. Some hate me for it, others embrace it, some are confused by it. But what some don't understand is that really I'm still looking for myself and I haven't found him yet. But when I do, I will have found self virtue and all the struggles, doubts, and decisions I have made during my life will be worth the end result. That is why I endure.
-One Life
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